I sit here writing this and am shaking my head at the phone call I just received from our 17 year old daughter who turned our life upside down this past summer and whom now lives with her relatives. Of course she didn't call just to chat. She called because she wanted something. Always a motive behind this child, which is sad, because she has such a bright future ahead if she would just stop and realize that she needs to change. Unfortunately 12 years of therapy never did anything to help her. Therapy is alot like weight loss, it only works if you accept things about yourself and make changes, something that she was never willing to do. For that I feel a great deal of saddness for her. I love her but she makes me angry with her attitude. She said that she wouldn't change a thing about what she did to us - no remorse which is even scarier. Reminds me of when she was in grade school and teachers said they couldn't give her consequences, she was just so cute. I in my usual smart alec manner said "If she were an ugly child would you?" Made many a teacher angry at me for that one. And so it goes in the trenches. We have to maintain and try to help the six still at home who are more than willing to live here and accept our love and guidance. One of children being the stand up comic that he is pointed out "Well - We don't have any relatives that will take us" which while true is in itself so sad. Trying to maintain normalcy or should I say teach them normalcy and hope that they grasp the concept in the short time we have to try to deal with their past and have them turn out to be contributing members to society is the name of the game right now.

My first blog

It's our crazy life with 11 children, 10 of whom are adopted. Each one comes dragging that invisible steamer trunk full of issues like "Jeep Jeep" from the Popeye cartoons. Someof the childrens issues rear their ugly heads from time to time and go back into the trunk; while others continue to keep the door wide open constantly trying to figure out new and improved ways to keep stirring the pot and keep the drama flowing watching from the sidelines with glee because this is what makes them tick. But so is the trauma of the adopted child. You will never know what your child has experienced when they are coming from the foster care system because no matter how well the family is screened and even though the kids may have removed 5 years before you got them, there is still a lot that we as their adoptive parents may NEVER know that they have experienced. I can say this from 13 years of in the trenches experience. I love my children with all my heart and will fight for them every inch of the way to help make them successful individuals, but I never know the depths of their souls and how damaged they are. Every once in a while will they show me a glimpse into their souls.